Singh is Bling, Review: Kickass, jackass and badass                                                                                      

Singh is blink-ing. Maybe winking. After many head-banging, from a ledge, he is hanging.  His lady love is English talking. With them is interpreter walking. Parents daughter-in-law wanting. But many badass haunting. From Europe, lady’s mother disappearing. Later, in Goa, reappearing. Owner of casino no selling. Rival mad and yelling. Some people jackassing. Many people badassing. Lady often ‘ass’ joking. Singh happily groping. One woman sleep-walking. On a man’s crotch coconut whacking. Ring ring. Singh is bling. What’s that ‘bling’? That’s the thing, that’s the thing, that’s the thing!

Raftaar Singh (Akshay Kumar), a Sardar (turban-wearing Sikh) the apple of his mother (Rati Agnihotri)’s eye, is also the biggest irritant for his father (Yograj Singh). He is always looking to have fun, and runs away from responsibility. This displeases his father to no end. One day, fed up of his dalliances, his father’s orders Raftaar to either get married (to an overweight girl), or go to Goa and work for his friend there, Kirpal Singh (Pradeep Rawat), who runs a casino, and learn to take on responsibility. Terrified of getting married to that girl, Raftaar prefers to head for Goa. Once there, he impresses his new boss with his quaint sense of humour, enthusiastic stupidity and out of the box thinking. Soon, he gets an important assignment from his boss, in which he gets him to meet Sara (Amy Jackson), the daughter of an underworld don (Kunal Kapoor), who is coming from Europe to search for her long separated mother. And thus begins their love story, in spite of the fact that Raftaar does not speak any English, and Sara knows no Hindi. Raftaar is joined in this unique romance by the quirky but quick-witted Emily (Lara Dutta), an interpreter, his buddies Pappi (Anil Mange) and Pompi (Arfi Lamba) who almost ruins their budding love.

A spin-off from the 2008 successful outing called Singh is King, directed by Anees Bazmee, and featuring Akshay Kumar as the simpleton Sikh, Happy Singh, who ends up becoming a don in the Australian underworld, this one is not a sequel, but a mere attempt to milk the ‘franchise’. Story and screenplay writer Shiraz Ahmed (Rowdy Rathore, Action Jackson, Race and Race 2 R...Rajkumar, Ramaiya Vastavaiya) and dialogue-writer Chintan Gandhi (Shor in the City, Zanjeer, Soundtrack) can take half the blame for this one. Shiraz is a gorgeous garden city in Iran, and Chintan means introspection/meditation in Hindi and other Indian languages. Nothing remotely close to Chintan is found in this film, though, to be fair, millions of flowers adorn the frames, and great scenic beauty that spans Romania, Holland, Patiala and Goa, colours the canvas.

The other half (maybe the better half) of the blame must squarely rest on actor-dancer-director Prabhudeva’s shoulders. Funky choreography, superb circular formations, breath-taking angles, a fluid camera, eye-soothing colours, curves to die for, heights to vie for, muscles to marvel at, fights to leave you gasping and some really spirited performances, all amount to very little. Singh maybe King, but so is content. Sure, there is a linear narrative, but it is interrupted too often by toilet humour, childish pranks, grunting, miming, contrived interpreting, hamming and you name it.

Akshay Kumar, who co-produced the film, gives the role 100%, and it is sad to see it go waste. Fit, agile and superbly confident, even when blinking/winking, he could have done so much more in a better-written script. Kay Kay Menon, given an inch to rise above his stereo-typed image, goes the whole mile, and, along with surprise packages Kunal Kapoor and Lara Dutta, almost raises the film to a not too bad level. Well, almost. Kunal, son of Shashi Kapoor, cousin of Randhir Kapoor, looks like an amalgam of his cousin and another actor, Rajendranath Zutshi, and talks like Randhir. Making a comeback after 30 years, he stands out. Lara Dutta goes delightfully over the top, completely footloose and effervescent.

Miss Liverpool 2010 Amy Jackson, who arrived on the Mumbai film scene with Ekk Deewana Tha, and starred in a South  film, I-the Movie, turns in a serviceable performance, completely uninhibited. Though she plays a hardened sour-face, a punch-packing tornado and a softened romantic, in turns, there neither scope, nor the desire, to show these transformations in better cinematic treatment. Her Venus like emergence from the water, in the umptumpteenth tribute to Ursula Andress (Dr. No) and Bo Derek (Ten), will have many a passionate heart going ‘Choo, Cha, Chee’, as one of the songs in the film goes.

Pradeep Rawat is unrecognisable as a Sardar. His physique matches his role. Diction was never his forté. Anil Mange and Arfi Lamba play two moronic jackasses whose reproductive organs are given coconut whacks for no fault of theirs, by somnambulist Lara, who lures them with a suggestion of seduction, and then.... Old-timer Rati Agnihotri hams with dignity while Yograj Singh (Bhaag Milkha Bhaag, Babal Da Vehra, Goreyan Nu Daffa Karo) corners some laughs, in spite of the predictable situations he is shown in. One scene, where his line-drawings on the ground come alive in animation, deserves to be appreciated. Also in the cast is Murali Sharma, type-cast, but likeably so. And yes, there is Sunny Leone, in passing, and ‘Prabhudeva’ (himself?) in pissing!

Music by Sneha Khanwalkar, Manj Musik, Sajid-Wajid and Meet Bros, follows the thump-thump meets Punjab meets Sufism meets digital yearning voices norm that is found in most films these days. Playback voices for the same actors and actresses vastly vary, for no imaginable reason, except the choices of different music composers when recording the tracks. Songs could gain short-term popularity, nevertheless.

Singh is Bling is an action comedy of the 'very good action, very crude comedy' type of populist cinema. If you have the gift of suspending your taste and sensibility by a few notches during a film-show and are content with glamour, glitz and gore, you might be able to join ranks with the masses who are the primary target audience for the film.^Sorry, did I just use the word content? Indeed. Same spelling, different gelling? I am not telling!

Rating: * ½                                                                            ^(Add an extra star, if you fall in this category, making it ** ½) 

Trailer: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x329fgm