By Kimberly Deisler

My husband is annoyed with me. Not for the usual reasons husbands get upset with wives, like spending too much money or the house being messy. He’s upset with me because I keep updating that clause in our marriage. You know the one, the NCIHBIIDCC or the No Chance In Hell But If It Did Celebrity Clause where upon you’re not allowed to cheat on your spouse with anyone other than a celebrity and that celebrity has to be on the list, a list of only five names, and that celebrity has to ask, you just can’t go stalking someone.

I keep telling him that he has no written rules so I can update all I want. It is the age of technology after all when everyone’s updating everything all the time, so why not my list? And besides, stuff happens, people get arrested, get married, die, naturally updating is the logical approach to such a list containing only five measly spots! And so just the other day, I updated that list again with a man I’ve always had a crush on but who really knocked me out when I saw him in person.

Stanley Tucci is one of the most underrated performers by main stream standards, until recently, and whose brilliance penetrates way into your heart and psyche long after his name rolls by on the screen. You can imagine then what meeting him in person would be like, but you'd be wrong because he's better than that ... and now that I have, albeit a brevity he’s surely forgotten, I can’t stop thinking about that f%#$ guy. (If you’ve seen his masterpiece The Big Night, you’ll get the reference, just sayin’.)

First of all, he’s hilarious. His quick witted nature and dry sense of humor  hits you between the eyes before you even know it. And speaking of eyes, he's pretty easy on them.  He has impeccable taste in clothes and I could totally see myself standing next to him in pictures, you know if I had like a bag over my head with a really hot chick’s face on it or something.

Tucci’s comic relief gave the audience a welcomed release as they’d just screened the Peter Jackson film, The Lovely Bones, an adaptation of Alice Sebold’s book, presently garnishing all kinds of accolades. The material is devastating at best, the performances unforgettable … again, the kind of stuff that sticks with you. In fact, one audience member spoke to how much she appreciated Tucci making the film having just lost her daughter a year ago to a hit and run accident.

The Santa Barbara International Film Festival honored Tucci with the Cinema Vanguard Award in recognition of artists who carve an individual path by taking risks in material, characters and assisting fans with their celebrity clauses.

Don’t mock … it could happen!

Kimberly Deisler