Rao Bahadur, Review: Jao Bahadur

Rao Bahadur, Review: Jao Bahadur

A: What is this all about? Why have you mis-spelt the word Rao as ‘Jao’?

B. The film is 169 minutes long, so don’t expect an answer right away.

Rao/Row/Raow/Raao.

Write it any way. It means

King/Monarch/Sovereign/Raja

Bahadur is a brave. Brave-heart/brave-face/brave-hand!

A. Brave-face? That’s a new one. How would you describe a brave-face?

B. Seeing is viewing. Seeing is being. Seeing is believing. Seeing is disbelieving.

A. I don’t quite get it. Seeing is being?

B. Being is dreaming. Being is being unconscious. Being is being in a state of meditation for 5 days, with blood pressure high above the 200 mark. Being is being in a coma.

A. You missed out something there: hallucinating!

B. Indeed. Hallucinating about Gandhi. M.K. Gandhi? I. Gandhi? R. Gandhi? R. Gandhi Junior ? None of the above.

A. I saw some glimpses in a trailer. There was a dance…

B. On a stage. In a cage, with a wiggling bottom for company. In a rage. Against your image.

A. There is another song too, about some ….‘conditioning’! Right?

B. Right. It’s conditioning. Its air-conditioning. Its conditional. Its conditioned.

A. Now, please come to the point. Rao Bahadur is the story of a king.

B. True. King. Fling. Bing. Thing.

A. I asked you whether it is the story of a king. 

B. Story of a king. Story of two kings. Story of three kings. Story of four kings.

A. Four kings? Four?

B. And more. Son. Father. Grandfather. Great grand-father....

A. Enough of the family tree. Tell me the story.

B. A bonsai tree, on a tombstone, made of Makwana marble. Taj Mahal was made of Makwana marble. Victoria Palace was made of Makwana marble.Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque is made of Makwana marble.

A. Have you lost your marbles?

B. Not me. Someone lost his wife. The wife lost her baby in childbirth. A young boy was lost, drowned in a pond, while his step-brother was playing cricket nearby.

A. Cricket? There’s cricket in this movie about generations of kings?

B. You think you got me out lbw, but I will refer to the third umpire! The king returns from England, with a cricket kit as a gift for his teenage son, and asks him to win the World Cup. The king brings nothing for his younger son, and asks him to play with his brother’s old toys. The cricketer asks his brother to play with his old toys. The pre-teenager yearns to be in the playing eleven, but his brother refuses to allow him in.

A. That’s not cricket! But that’s not fair!

B. Exactly. You hit the ball out of the park. The kid is not fair, but dark. Teenager is fair alright. The parents are fair. So, the dark-skin came from where?

A. Oh, so it is a story about genealogy.

B. That too! Descent. Pedigree. Genetics, DNA.

A. DNA? In the era of kings?

B. Why not. Simon says: “Test his DNA.” His doctor says “Nay”. The police say “Hey, Hey!” Problem: The boy died 8 years, to the day.

A. Aaaah! There’s suspense too!

B. Absolutely! Suspense, pretence, intense, immense. 

A. That’s rocking!

B. Rock and roll. Raja, too saat peedhiyon ka hae soul. Ab biscuit factory khol. Haath dilpey rakhkar bol. Apney beteykee grave ko dig karkey bana ek hole.

A. Wow! Let the credits roll.

B. It was made in Telugu and has English sub-titles. The film is presented by Mahesh Babu. Written, directed and edited by Maha. Venkatesh Maha. The ‘Venkatesh’ part I dug out from the web. Starring Satyadev Kancharana, Deepa Thomas, Vikas Muppala, Anand Bharathi, Pranay Vaka, Kunal Kaushik, Bala Parasar. Composer: Smaran. Priyanka Gajanan, Hemachandra and Vijay Yesudas sing the songs. Rahaman has written the lyrics. Porno….ooops….choreo graphy by Shravan Kumar Muppiri.

A. How can you make such gaffes? Porno….

B. Its conditioning. Its conditioning.

A. What’s new about that? All multiplexes are air-conditioned. I will head for one right now, where they are showing Rao Bahadur. 

B. Jao Bahadur. You are indeed a brave-heart. There are many, many twists in the end, so don’t miss the (un)ending.

Rating: *